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"...I spotted an albino alligator at the nation’s largest aquarium, joined the whitest crowd to ever attend a Stevie Wonder show, and talked Fabio (!) into an #uglyvideoselfie..."
"Then things got weird. Our third runner wore a mumu during her first leg, appearing, from a distance, like a messiah sans following, as she ran with the Sawtooths by her side..."
"Three to four months out of the year, that was my life: bloody noses, boxes upon boxes of tissue, and in place of a 'Skoal ring,' my jeans sported the outline of an eye-drop bottle..."